I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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