I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
