Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
