The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
