i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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