I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
