My nipple is on Facebook.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I've blown a few things in my day
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
