My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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