went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
