she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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