white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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