the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
