There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
