WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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