Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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