She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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