the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
