I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize