I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
if only i could text you this smell
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
