Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
