using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
