You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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