he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
