im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
