so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
