hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
