We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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