no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
