I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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