kristin has been a bad kristin
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
