dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
