My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
