Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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