you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Randomize