he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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