i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My liver just had a heart attack.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
