just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
