So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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