fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
