cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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