walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
