Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
