I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
