Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
