first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
