Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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