yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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