do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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