we're blogging at a bar
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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