Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize