Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he thought i was a dude.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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