Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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