I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
