so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
