Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize