oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
