I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
