Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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