Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
