Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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