420 ftw
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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