It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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